So My parents cut me off after I started making blood marys with hienz ketchup
You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
He doesn't know I'm infertile yet, that's when the sex gets good
His words said "save me", but his penis said "I'll take my chances"
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
How was the birthday sex?
Shit got outta hand. Honestly I think even my STDs have STDs.
My unemployment came through so I'd like to thank the taxpayers of Utah in advance for my level of intoxication this weekend
Im at that shitty point in my day where I start planning night activities while finger dipping vyvance off of my desk, you got any plans?
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
Also I stopped in the middle of the road and put my hazards on because BUNNIES WERE PLAYING
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
do you think mom is upset that i left with the stripper from her bachelorette party last night?
Yes please. My parents would fucking love him and I'd love fucking him. That's a win-win if I've ever seen one.
Just bedazzled a flask, while drinking out of it. Hot glue is EVERYWHERE.
Randomize
