I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
I drank it, and now my boss keeps hitting me in the face with beams of light.
Tripping at your desk probably isn't the best plan you've had.
Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
I told her Billy Mays couldn't convince me to sleep with her
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
I don't think he wanted to hear that my most serious relationship was my 1 1/2 year fuck buddy... I think he figured out that's where he's heading
The good news is I managed to avoid the three cop car looking for me. The bad news is I no longer have shoes.
New brilliant plan: invite two random okcupid girls to the same bar at the same time, have them compete
Me and my girlfriend were watching porn together..... it got awkward cause I kept getting notifications from my family on Facebook
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
Randomize
