Please explain to me why I only attract Mormon guys. Just explain that to me.
I think it's God trying to counter your lustful nature. Imagine if Agnostics liked you. You'd never come out of your bedroom.
how hairy? two words: wookie tits
Life lesson: Don't give a drunk girl a dutch oven after having taco bell. She puked all over my pillow. Funny as hell though.
Last night you tried to pee on my bed...in the hallway...your room...and the showers. When I finally got you on the toilet you passed out.
How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
He just dragged himself across the floor on his back claiming to be "the swiffer" help
Can we talk about how i am holding a tupperware container of my own puke in the back of my grandparents car while my sister drives
Hooked up with a guy resembling a bearded Cher. I need the lenses on my beer goggles fixed. Pronto.
I don't know if I should feel proud or ashamed of myself...ashamed for making myself a drink at 6:15am or proud for actually being awake that early.
Her tutu was on the floor and she wouldn't take off her crown. She kept saying you're fucking a princess!
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
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