Your tits are I can't wait for
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007
Mark my words im gonna be the drunkest groomsman outta spite for him having his wedding on a gameday
Nice. Don't spend your therapist's co-pay on Jaeger bombs.
Tell her to buy some booze and drink away her sorrows like an adult.
He just sent me a picture of himself naked while cooking pancakes and he made the caption "bitchin' in the kitchen"
You were crying in a drunken stupor for an hour because "the new daft punk album didn't blow your tits off"
Is "head down ass up" an appropriate way to say good morning?
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
Woke up with an e-cig stuck in my asshole. Explain.
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
Random question, what's John-that-we-had-a-threesome-with's phone number? Don't necessarily need the full number, maybe just area code? Think I drunkenly ran into him last night and now I have texts from a John.
Makes hanging out interesting when she lights you on fire just to roll ontop of you to 'put you out'.
Randomize
