just woke up and my boobs have "fun police" written on them
i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
My mom just blew pot smoke into my nose and called me a cat.
Also pregame at mine tomorrow?
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
the two person party stopped when i realized that he tried to throw a hammer at my head.
And apparently i asked another younger guy at the bar if he wanted his bud light pumped straight into his vag. As i put back an irish car bomb...
I'm wearing too many socks to be ok with this.
My cell phone fell out of my shirt pocket while tying my shoe on an escalator....which was followed by me being accused of trying to sneak an upskirt photo and being violently shoved down the top of the escalator. How's YOUR day?
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
Should we go get some celebratory "I'm not pregnant" tacos?
Its like the floor is slow but life is fast?
I see you found the nyquil...
no its a draw, weve been through this, when were keeping score on getting laid i get a plus 1 handicap each week because of your British accent! its only fair!
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
How naked do you want me to be?
Randomize
