and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
you might as well be a hobo. you were covered in pee last night hanging out on the stairs drunk.
right. well we all have our lows.
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
im suggesting it to him. and by suggesting i mean we're not having sex again unless im wearing high heels
WHEN DID YOU SAY YOU COME BACK BC I GOT INVITED TO A KEG WAR PARTY
People dont know what to do when a naked fat guy is running towards them. they panic
Still butthurt there's a framed picture of me passed out on the toilet in my grandparents' living room
What shitty, shitty thing could you possibly tell me that doesnt top the fact that i got hammered and showed everyone i could shit while running
lost her for two hours. she was banging a russian guy in her car in the parking lot. he told her she was majestic.
Just in case the world ends tomorrow, I have an emergency contact group of booty calls I can send a quick "let's fuck" to before I die.
I'm at the nutcracker high as shit. It's so beautiful. I cried.
Tears For Fears is the only thing getting me through life at this moment.
woke up this morning to a baggy full of adderall and two redbulls..i'm gonna marry this guy one day
You tried to see how many socks you can stuff in yor mouth and I just put on a damp sock. Is this what bestfriends have come to these days???
Randomize