Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
Public safety found my id!
And i can't find my bra so i'm assuming they found my bra with my id which would explain the disapproving tone the lady on the phone had.
you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
What. The. Fuck. No, you will not spank me.
That wasn't intended for you, my bad.
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
you wouldn't come out from under your bed because you said there were six-armed bears everywhere.
ohhh that explains the pepperonis I found in my sock drawer this morning...
no it doesn't.
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
I went to the gas station and the lady goes I remember you. Broken sunglasses and puke on your car.
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
Hate is such a strong word! I prefer to think that you strongly dislike me due to the honesty I show towards your routine shortcomings of success in life.
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
I shaved my asshole for you. You WILL fuck me tonight.
He sent me a meme at 3am. Usually guys just send me booty calls that late. I think I'm in love
sometimes i forget what nice tits i have and then i spend a month brushing my teeth naked in the front of the bathroom mirror, and i remember.
Randomize
