Important detail I forgot to tell you: leprechaun loves david bowie.
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
Do you know many girls there are in gay bars waiting for me to do coke off their tits? A lot.
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
His thanks his mom for not having an abortion at his wedding toast. I love frat weddings.
I'm imaging you naked, covered in butter. And I gotta say, I'm not impressed.
And have you ever tried to explain a hickey to your own grandmother?
Is there a special protocol when the stripper has a Boba Fett tattoo?
I got you a "sorry you think I'm pregnant" present
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
We watched X-Files, ate pizza, and he played with my butt. It was a pretty standard Monday.
Sexting just isn't as much fun once you learn how bad he is in bed...
Awake! can you bring me my pants...im under the couch
Randomize
