Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
Who ate shrimp cocktail in my bathroom last night?
A girl just told me she printed out my pictures and taped them on her wall. I have to stop sleeping with virgins.
whose ass print is on the piano?
Omg. Some dude is jacking off in Kelly's bathroom.
I told the bartender that his red, white and blue shots were terrible and tasted like Thomas Jefferson's balls.
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
Spent tonight painting strippers in camo.
Sorry, I gave half my brain to my thesis and the other half to mdma
Crawl out into the sunshine and off your vibrator for 7 minutes
Just sold my panties for 40 bucks to some rando dude at the gay bar. I think I found a way to fund next years spring break trip. Hello cancun!
My new roommate looks like a troll. Or a serial killer. So if I disappear, show this text to the cops.
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