Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
In case you were wondering, you weren't dreaming. I really did get stuck between my bed and the wall last night.
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
Either he was jacking off or having a seizure next to me in bed. Either way, I was too lazy to help.
when you agree to fuck a guy it does by NO means make it okay for his roommate to hide in the closet with doritos and watch
Is it bad of me to apply as a night shift counselor at a boys orphanage purely because of how laid that would get me at bars?
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
I don’t know what's weirder; the fact that I weigh more with an erection..or the fact that I actually weighed myself with an erection...
My office already closed tomorrow. I'm bout to get drunk and build a muh fuckin fort. I shall call it "Fort Fuck You, Sandy, You Fuckin Bitch"
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
Good god you suck at this wake up call. Seriously. If I can, after consuming enough vodka to subdue a russian soldier, muster up enough motivation to call you in the morning and send you naked pictures the least you could do is pick up.
Dude. Woke up this morning wearing that chick's panties. 8/10, would recommend. I love tequila.
I'm naked on my couch and just ate a chip that was in my belly button.. my 20s have been weird.
Rough birthday weekend. Eating McDonalds in the shower and used a fifth of sky as a pillow last night
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