I saw him at work today and he gave me a really awkward "I know what you do drunk" look...
Realized I'm still to drunk to comprehend work emails. Marked them all as unread. Here's to responsible hang overs.
The fact that I am sitting home writing a resume while you're out inducing vomiting makes me feel like way more of an adult than I'm ready to be.
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
i showed up sober to class for the first time. my prof said that i was "off my game today". i love philosophy
Yesterday I dumped him, went out for my birthday, hooked up with someone else, and today he still fed my cat. Living with your ex ain't so bad . . .
There was a time I was reining queen of Sunday funday... And at that same time I also weighed 20 pounds more, had the morale of a spearmint rhino stripper, and woke up most mornings asking more questions than fucking Barbara Walters. I think I just wrote my own epitaph.
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
I'm not coming to work today because tequila
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
Now i know i wasnt that drunk... So why are there texts of me volunteering for a nude photo shoot for an art major student?
So, do I need to remind you to keep it classy tonight?
No, because if you have to be reminded it isn't classy.
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
I'm really busy with my period
Randomize
