So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
I can totally hide my daquiri in my sling.
First order of business is dropping my 9 am gym class. I'm sweating pure vodka.
the only bad part about drinking alone is that in the morning there's nobody who can tell you what you did
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
I ended up passing out on the shitter for like an hour with mcds smoothie all over my face
When someone comes out of your vagina and stomps on your dreams, you'll understand.
Also, they sell weed-chocolate covered strawberries. For the romantic stoner.
That was one of the best texts I got today
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
I don't want a mention or even a whisper of a Shakespeare Festival by that or any other name including, but not limited to, a fucking Renaissance Fair. Are we clear? It will be a DEALBREAKER .
Why do I have a vague memory of your entire fraternity climbing in through my bedroom window?
HEY. NO. THIS IS ABOUT YOU RIGHT NOW. YOUR COCK, MY MOUTH, THATS IT.
I need to stop using "I went to the Harry Potter theme park" as my pickup line.
Randomize
