I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
I'm gonna need you to NOT let me play duck duck goose with three racoons in the middle of the street next time.
Did you seriously take investment advice from our coke dealer?
You peed in the parking lot while a car was was waiting behind us. And when people walked by you proceeded to say "careful you might slip"
Everyone is sleeping and i'm sittin here in my iron man mask, watchin chelsea lately and tryin to figure out how to smoke through it.
Drinks appeared in front of me. Who am I to deny destiny? And by destiny, I mean free drinks, which appear by magic.
When I found her she was drinking wine out of a plastic bag in a bathroom stall, staring at herself in the mirror and crying hysterically. Cabo does things to a person...
It was great. They teamed up to hit on these two frat boys all night, until the frat boys started making out with each other. The looks on their faces...
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
I GOOGLED IT. BEES CAN MASTURBATE. WHAT.
Your feet probs hurt bc the cab driver kicked us out a mile from home after you wouldn't stop screaming "prohibition can suck my dick"
He just said Bill Nye is just a dude. If I ever considered sleeping with him, I never will now.
At one point I was counting his nipple hairs to calm myself down.
We damn well better have a snow day tomorrow. We just broke out the rum.
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