i killed an earwig and left its corpse on the wall as a warning
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
He had Jail Releases phone number programed into speed dial on his phone.
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
Cuz last time you told me I was going to be shocked about something you got a hand job from a stripper in canada
I'm gonna be a few minutes late, some asshole just fell off the ferry so we had to stop.
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
sometimes after I smoke and the high has gone away...the high will come back like three hours later for a brief yet gripping ride.
that's usually when I end up in someone's house, having sex with someone else, while that someone's roommate makes us mozzarella sticks.
We haven't said piping hot jizz in awhile... that needs to come back into our conversations
I have a weapon and I'm not blacked out. Good as gold
Every time I walk onto campus my Saint Patrick's day scar starts to throb. I'm like a drunken accident prone Harry Potter
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
Saw a dude last night at a strip club's bar eating canned pineapple and giving tootsie pops to the girls...
I've seen too many naked penises for this to be a normal Monday morning
Randomize