butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
Elton John & Lady Gaga just did a duet on the Grammies. How appropriate. He likes cock & she happens to have one.
Pretty sure I went to the bar in my bathing suit, sweat pants, and high heels.
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
Thank you, bloody toiletpaper I found in the hamper. I was worried that today was going to be boring.
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
The typical response to someone smacking their vodka soaked hand on your face is not to put your face in their crotch
I heard drunk is the new sober. I heard me say that. To a cop. Can you come get me??
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
A relationship is waiting for him to fall asleep so you can cum (finally!) while watching porn
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
I just woke up, dressed as Chris Brown, with a bunless hot dog (presumably from 7/11) in my pocket, wearing a pair of shoes I don't recognize as my own. Help.
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