to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
we're making bets on your personal life
It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
that was THE gayest party i've ever been to
To be fair, the theme was Cabaret. I don't know what you were expecting.
One good thing about being really drunk when you go out to dinner is that the leftovers are a surprise. These quesadillas had shrimp in them! Who knew?
Now some guy that's in my phone as " Alex lip ring hot" is texting me and I don't where life is taking me
Who suggested the eggnog wet t-shirt contest last night like whose idea was that
Speaking
Like he held up the condom afterwards, twirled it with his finger, and said "look at that load"
I learned a very valuable lesson tonight...don't touch a cops tazer
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
My husband has seen you naked more times this week than me. I don't consider it a bad thing since you keep bringing the booze to our house. And because my tits are bigger.
you can tell a lot about a person by the quality of their porn
You're going to love the baby's room.
I doubt it. I can't have sex there anymore. That severely limits the appeal of the room to me.
Perfect attendance and not being drunk since Sunday. This is a new leaf if I've ever seen one
Randomize
