I hate your face
So how come you never look me in the eyes anymore when we make love?
Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
i just had sex with a fat kid who giggles when he cums. tequila really lowers my standards.
I'll send you the picture of you double fisting vodka bottles, grinding one guy and making out with another... Every girl wanted to be you.. You make me so proud!
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
Honestly I volunteered because the email made it sound like it was a once in a lifetime opportunity to be a sexual spy kid.
Oh. Why can't it be something easy, like a punch card for blowjobs?
Did you poop on the roof?
WTH?
Is that a no?
Watching Colbert Report and porn at the same time.
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
You cannot ask her to resend the picture of her genital tattoo to you just so you can show your room mate. it is time to end your relationship with the Captain.
I'm sorry, but if I hear stories of you getting fingered in the ass, and selling weed, you are not coming to my party.
I'm with jana at walgreens picking out penis rings.... Did you know they sell vibrators at walgreens? Wtf?
Of course he’s picking me up at the airport. I taught him the Lotus position last time we had sex.
Randomize
