Did you just see the Batmobile???
People kept wishing me happy birthday last night. apparently i was 21st birthday drunk
Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
shit I'm tired of wearing other peoples clothes to bed
I've grown up since last year. I don't give blow jobs as birthday presents anymore.
She refused to give me a hand job while we were watching a war movie saying she didn't wanna disrespect the soldiers
I found him in the livingroom trying to soak up broken glass with the clock from the kitchen.
I mean, I gave him a hand job on the Pearl Harbor tour bus; I don't know what the fuck else he wants out of this "relationship"
I used a jello pudding cup as a shot chaser last night. I'm the Bill Cosby of alcoholics
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
Last thing I remember was a hand in the pants. Then I woke up next to a full beer and a McDouble, which I promptly had for breakfast.
I joined the mile high club last night. I ran a mile while high on coke. It was glorious
You thought there were zombies attacking us so you tried to tuck and roll out of a moving vehicle. Also you should consider wearing underwear
Just got referred to as "the girl from Tuesday night" at the Taco Bell drive thru...what happened on my birthday?!
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
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