Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
come pick me up. please. i just puked in my lap. bring pants.
Be careful down there, Shane may have pooped on the carpet.
you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
Princesses don't give blow jobs
Dont even try and act like it wasn't you who made the sex tape of my dogs.
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
also i think i should join the bone marrow registration when im sober
I remember because you made a pirate noise when you came.
I wanna snuggle with you as we feed each other chipotle burrito bowls and that's just where I'm at right now
We had a moment of silence for all of the orgasms he gave me with his beard before he shaved it off.
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
Being an adult can't be all bad. I just took a vacation day solely to sit around and get stoned
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
Randomize
