Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
too bad you live with your parents still
You're the only person with a favorite bar in Disneyworld
I just sneezed cum. He better have a damn good day at work.
i feel this outfit says i'm better than you, but i might give you a handjob behind a building
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
He kept insisting that I was going to have an orgasm but it just felt like he was rubbing sand paper on my vagina
i draw the line when you ask for directions at a place you're already at.
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
Get your ass over here, we're drinking Patron and watching My Little Pony. Patron and Ponies, do you copy?!
we broke up because he couldn't handle the fact that i've slept with more girls than he has. also, i've slept with the girl he's seeing now.
I've never been so tempted to check my phone during sex in my life.
You kept ripping all your clothes off and saying, "Let me be free!"
So I've reached a new low. After completing my walk of shame and being told "see you around", I took off my heels to discover he had came in my shoe.
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