I seriously can't date anymore I forgot how to hide my crazy
so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
You convinced us both to take shots of jack Daniels through our eyes.
I think I won over his best friend. He was staring at my boobs all night.
Drinking heavily at 3pm and about to rescue a 30lb street turtle. Dont even bother attempting to rise to this level bitch
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
Some guy in the bathroom just took his shirt off and proceeded to tell me the story behind all of his stab wounds. That's what I get for making small talk
I just put on underwear fresh outta the dryer and it's like tiny Angels are giving them warm supportive hugs all over
Is her dick bigger than yours?
Thanks so much for having me, I'm really sorry that I almost caused your dog to catch on fire and also for breaking your doorknob
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
I can hear the pillow talk now, "how many condoms did you bring? Good, put them all on,"
Randomize
