Plan B is the new Plan A
I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
If I could have all the money back from the pregnancy test i've bought- I could buy myself a vacation.
Or a large amount of condoms?!?
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
Sometimes I wonder why I hang out with you. And then you show up half naked at my door with a half gal of vodka, and I remember why.
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
Also, if someone could cut me off before im rolling around the yard pantsless with a 40 year old lesbian that would be awesome.
He told me he doesn't want to fuck anymore because he needs to focus on school. Either he grew a vagina or he's secretly gay, it has to be one of the two.
First stoner thought of the day: Life would be so much better if there were more things that were biscuits and gravy flavored.
i told him I'd let him eat part of a weed cookie out of my cleavage, so he pulled over like a gentleman.
Hooked up with a guy dressed as Miss Frizzle last night... Asked if I could ride his Magic School Bus
Yeah, this is not that. This is a father and son bonding moment involving my all of my orifices.
You need to somehow incorporate the phrase "these hoes ain't loyal" into your best man speech.
That amount of times your family has seen my boobs is getting ridiculous.
What started out as a one night stand ended in him texting me the next day, saying he thought he was gay.
Randomize