There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
I just wanna be some guy's midlife crisis
I had a dream last night, there was a gumball machine that was filled with Oxycontin. I would try to get some but got vitamins instead. I was so frustrated!! woke up angry.
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
Just saw a guy I fucked in a clown suit in the bar. It's not Halloween. I have got to start making better life decisions.
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
Some guy is here using a taser on people. I'm up next
He was making Jim beam nachos. Chips soaked in whiskey with cheese
"He was so not worth staining my backseat for."
Who put the fucking tampon in my Mike's hard lemonade?
I was very impressed with his ability to carry on a conversation with his friends sitting in the front seat with his hand in my pants, getting a hand job, stoned, with a cigarette in his mouth. I think he's a keeper.
No we didn't fuck. He picked me up I asked where we were going and he said "I don't know if you've ever heard of a little place called Denny's?" He was completely serious. I told him to stop the car and I got out and called Jack.
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
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