He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
I had to explain to the waiter that I'm not the DD because I can't drive, but as the Designated 'Make Sure No One Gets Roofied Or Hit By A Car On The Walk Home'-er, I should still get the free drinks.
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
We were apparently using marine hand signals to communicate to one another where to meet up in the house to hook up.
Didn't even know I knew marine hand signals.
Today was my cousin's Kindergarten graduation. I happen to also think of it as a MILF convention.
Happy you have kids and I don't day!
i was trying to figure out what "tidy fucking" was when i realized he meant "titty fucking" and i need to start banging smarter people....
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
He's tying my arms above my head and all I can think is that I should've shaved my armpits
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
all the one night stand stories i have end with me crying on my RA's floor stuffing cupcakes into my mouth
Those people that talk about exercise endorphins have never experienced a 9x13 pan of mac n cheese endorphins
I mean, he’s listed as “Andrew DC Threesome” in my phone. THATS HOW I REMEMBER HIM! How is that not the start of a fairytale?
Omg I just looked in my purse from last night.. 10 bags of gummy bears.
Randomize
