She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
i need a wealthy benefactor or a cocktail job. or to start stripping. or kill myself. whatever.
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
You were like pukeahontas last night, you tried to tell us you were okay, then you puked in the garden.
please tell me why my pillow is wearing your thong...
...i wondered where i left that...
I told you, we're just gonna get ripped and light sparklers
Just had the best random sex ever with a girl I picked up from a pro choice rally uptown. God bless the Democratic National Convention.
Anyhow, I am sorry for being obnoxious about wanting more sex and forcing you to eat lunchmeat off of my ginormous nipples. I knew that you weren't going to succumb to my pushy demands
My mom just gave me my fake back to buy her more wine.
I used his number to look up his customer information at work. He's no longer saved as Magic Penis in my phone.
I caught myself caressing my own hand while nurturing a glass of bourbon. I think it's time to get back out there.
Last night I was the DD and was trying to drop off some chick I didn't know at her place. The closest thing to an address I got was "where the goldfish go."
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
and eventually we just all took our pants off
Randomize