dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
All I want to do right now is burp, puke, and fart. In that order.
in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
Dude you have to stop using "I eat good pussy" as a pick up line
In my drunkeness I was planning how to throw up without my parents hearing. I was gonna go for a "run" and just throw up outside.
Sneezing blood is a good thing right? Medically speaking.
i don't even know why we got arrested this time. i think the cops just like our company at this point
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
I drank a girls breast milk at this wedding. Shit was next level
I dunno what to tell you sport. Short of having a shock collar on, you're gonna wanna hook up with people.
I took it as a sign from the lord above that she wanted me to creep on these men.
Life is clearly unfair. You remember Courtney has three older sisters, well they're all "make baby sister look like a four" hot. I knew I shouldn't go home with her.
There's even glitter on my cock...
Randomize
