My stomach is making the worst sounds, probably because there is nothing but semen in it.
Come downstairs. Moms serving wine for breakfast again.
All I want in this world right now are Doritoessssss
OK. You going to get home safe? Who are you with?
Doritoesssssss
And the best part is I don't remember putting the condom in my pocket! Angels officially exist
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
If you haven't gone to the store yet. Can you PLEASE get me some clippers my balls will thank you later
In my dream, you became a famous tap-dancer. Congratulations.
Know your penis has been the topic of conversation over glasses of wine.
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
This is stupid. I am not getting knocked up from fucking in his backseat behind a starbucks. I refuse.
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
Is it bad form to spend company money and place an ad in the paper because I wanna nail the sales girl?
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
Randomize
