I was. I was trying to blow bubbles in the toilet after I threw up in it. They had to carry me everywhere. I lost a sock.
Somehow I gave him blood blisters on his dick...I don't know if I'm that good or that bad.
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
I'm sober in pajamas at a bar. Nothing is ok about that statement.
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
Until this weekend, a man hadn't made me orgasm since the night Obama was elected. Now THAT is change I can believe in.
Just realized I probably only have one more wedding where I can say I fucked the bride.
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
Good morning 7am walk of shame. It's been awhile.
She couldn't find her toothbrush so I had to wait while she sucked on the 12 peppermints she found under the couch. Pretty resourceful for her level of intoxication.
The first thing he said was that my underwear smelled like Trix but then he looked up at me and whispered "Silly rabbit, vagina is for me."
last night you said that you wanted to hold my dick as you slept because it was like having a stuffed animal.
Lighting a fucking bong with a candle. Straight up dedication.
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