so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
you got in your car and made the sounds of a NASCAR, then called me on your phone and I was your pit crew. then you apparently you won the race, and THAT'S when you tried to backflip off the top of your car.
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
come find me. Outside the bar we were just in waving my syringe in the air
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
...there was a woman in the stall next to me in the Walmart bathroom having a massive bowl movement and whispering "I'm sorry" over and over
The last thing I searched on my phone was "leave in conditioner on cats." This is where my life is.
You thanked your mom for the gymnastic lessons so you could do a keg stand
Yeah he drove 30 minutes at 3 AM to come fuck me in my neighbors treehouse
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
You kept telling everyone that you were as sober as a camel. I have yet to figure out what that means
The logic in me says "don't text him" .But the vagina in me says "text him".
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
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