Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
I'm sorry. We set two Christmas trees on fire. Also the neighbor's yard. Also ours.
I get credit on the assist, you can thank me by taking a pic of her ass under the covers and sending it to me. It would make my YEAR
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
Telling someone to make good decisions on a Thursday is like telling Santa to be Jewish.
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
I'm eating captain crunch out of a cup half full of beer so idk
Anywho, an ostrich attacked me today. Fucking useless pieces of shit birds.
he showed me his third nipple on the first date. I might have low to no standards, but my god.
I can't remember the last time I saw a penis in person that I didn't see a million times on text first
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
We didn't have a place to have sex. So we timed the automatic car wash & spent $9 for 3 minutes and 45 secs of car sex.
We were like one big happy Eskimo family.
I went looking for them and I pulled my pants down and peed on the lawn. I found my phone in the same spot in the morning.
Randomize