called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
Say it nicely.
Fine. I want to lovingly bend you over and lovingly fuck the shit out of you. Happy?
i'm 6 minutes and 3 drinks deep before she gets here. she's do-able for a wednesday night, but i still need to mentally prepare, ya know?
Somewhere between the 2 hours of sex and her urgently rushing to work she manged to steal all $329.33 in my jeans. Worst one night stand ever, she even took the pennies.
you called me in the middle of the night, wandering the streets, in search of "the ultimate burrito"
Okay. We're coming naked. We need Saran wrap and plastic forks.
It took 6 cruisers to bust the party last night. Cop asked if the theme was a beach party. I said I would fucking hope so with 8 tons of sand in the garage
We really gotta change brands again because 2-ply is making us feel like the celebrities we aren't.
I did the walk of shame this morning and his mom hugged me in the driveway
Tried to shave my legs but the rug burn on my knees from last night got in the way.
Can you come get me? I woke up in the woods behind the Super 8. I have pizza.
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
I just asked my mom if I could be the drunk realitive at the reunion. She said as long as I'm not obvious.
Randomize
