A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
I just had sex in the back of an ambulance. Call me.
My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
Thanks for the birthday present, i had so much fun playing with it
Are you talking about my vagina?
We can smell you smoking weed from downstairs and your little brother is asking why the upstairs smells like gasoline. Please smoke in the basement. XOXO dad.
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
We pretended the crowd cheering the Thunder's win was cheering for us while we had sex on the couch.
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
Came so hard my ears popped. This lovely piece of news and pissin in my driveway brought to you by rum
Get off the floor, put away the cookie dough, get ur shit together Scott.
We ate sushi in a hospital bed, then fucked in a bathroom while I wore a gown. Pretty sure she's the one
This is a crisis. I had a huge crush on him in seventh grade and now his girlfriend is due to have his child on my birthday. HIS CHILD CAN'T BE BORN ON MY BIRTHDAY.
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