OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
i just farted in a meeting....took me completely by surprise.
so you made the shocked face and they caught you.
yup.
WHOA. WHOA. WTF. WHOA. TOO HIGH FOR HIM TO BE ENGAGED RIGHT NOW.
You would think that someone would have been sober enough to object to vodka bong races.
doing a walk of shame covered in blue food coloring is only embarrassing if you make it embarrassing...actually no its embarrassing on all accounts
Oh and I guess I added our cab driver on Facebook. He has "liked" every single one of my beach pictures. Kill me now.
maybe her throwing up on me was a foreshadowing of how she would later metaphorically throw up on my life
Yeah I'm at work. Nothing like the threat of blowing chunks on passing cars to make you feel alive.
I'm in a corner eating carrots and drinking champagne. I've hit a new kind of low.
How is that low? I love carrots.
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
TYLER OWES ME SO MUCH
I LET A CREEPY MAN I DONT KNOW SUCK ON MY NIPPLES
I just met a stripper in the light of day who I ate a candy bikini off her body. This is how my weekend is going.
I legit measured his penis against my chapstick and it was too close to call. So that was my night.
Rich men love me! I remind them of their trophy wife!!!
Randomize
