well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
I reek of latex and grilled onions.
Mission accomplished.
my parents have to start far too many of our conversations with the sentence "this is an observation, not a judgment" than I'm proud of
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
Do you hit a new low in life when you have to carry around a puke bag in your purse when you're hungover?
Goodnight Shia. Goodnight Moon.
We just fucked each other sober. #goteam
Oh god...Did I just fuck a sugar granddaddy?!
Thanks for DJing my sex last night. You were on point 💜
He walked upstairs in nothing but his boxers and drunkenly asked my brother for a condom....so much for a good first impression.
To be honest, I'm more surprised when you're not high at this point
I'll text you when I have a mental breakdown about it.
Please do.
Randomize
