drank two beers while on the toilet at home during lunch break. new high or new low, not sure
Every morning i wake up and check his twitter like a horoscope
i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
I just found a pubic hair on my dick that wasn't mine.
this dude just took some girl under your house for half an hour. you may have helped a 17 year old fuck on the beach for the first time. congrats.
I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it.
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
i keep seeing little orange spots im starting to freak out
you tried mixing adderall in your visine last night..
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
I hope to God it's not the new neighbors having sex, because what I'm hearing sounds like a mildly defective vuvuzela or a cow giving birth.
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
In other news, Justin Bieber has a big dick and that makes me uncomfortable.
How are you supposed to wish the guy you send nudes to good luck for the first day of his new job??
Also: that bruise on my leg where you left like 3 sets of teeth marks keeps getting run into the corners of desks and shit. And I can't even complain to anyone at work
Randomize
