there is a puppy in the bar... no really i didnt steal this one
With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
it was like eating out sand paper
Just slept with a female bodybuilder. not cute. but it was like fucking hulk hogan with a twat. Beastly.
im so disgusted with myself. funny thing was i lasted 15 seconds. she benches 325
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
I walk in and my roomie is fucking her bf while wearing lingerie and minnie mouse ears. Right in the childhood.
We're both clumsy. What does this imply for our kids?
Helmets.
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
The cop said he like my hair today. Please explain all other interactions with law enforcement, k thanks
Does anyone remember last night? Because I still don't know why I now own a goldfish and a ceiling fan made of pizza?
So I had Xanax for breakfast & I'm probably going to fuck my tennis instructor.
Just set the kids up with doughnuts downstairs so I could go up and masturbate uninterrupted. I am such a good mom.
I must be really high or they really did just bring me a banana split instead of a burger
I woke up with my winter coat on, next to a polaroid of me, her and a swan...so no I don't remember our conversation.
she crawled a good forty meters just to whisper in my ear... "dildon't"
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