She's JV to your varsity
I just witnessed two drunk midgets fighting over a graham cracker. I can die happy now.
he told me he once ran a blackmarket liquor store out of his house. thats all it took for me to go home with him
SHE has hooked up with both me and my sister. I don't even know what to say. If she goes for my parents next I may have to kill her
Heads up. We filled your kiddie pool with kool-aid and vodka. Things are about to get Out. Of. Hand. Quickly.
do you know how hard it is to pee with a pumpkin in the toilet ?
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
What would you do if you came home and i was in nothing but the table cloth?
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
It's 10AM, she's drunk blaring veggie tales and I have a paper to write you've got to be fucking kidding me
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
Sorry I've been a slutty nightmare this week
Are you alive? Cause this is my official "im actually alive" text.
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