Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
Just got a event reminder on my phone to never party with you again.
I want an alcoholic time machine so we could skip to new years eve
You're a college freshman. Its your job to be pathetic. And drunk. But mostly pathetic
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
I could only remember yelling "rip it down" as he ninja jumped off the bed, kicked the wall, and superman punched the fire alarm off the ceiling.
I've always wondered why you never put the hotel room in your name...
Got high with dad and hunted squirrels in the basement. Is this seriously what my life has come to?
So I got lost trying to find you guys and ended up proposing to a bride in a bachelorette party with a condom.
You threw up at the outdoor bar and it was pretty...astonishing just how much can come out of such a small human.
I didn't want to shower, so I shaved my legs in the pool . That drunk .
you would have been so proud of how classy i just looked at the pharmacy with my $10 off plan b coupon. so resourceful.
I'm glad you threw up in my bed because now we talk.
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
just threw up in a gas staton parking lot in front of a father and son. stared them in the eyes and finished like a boss
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