He is such a slut. More and more my type.
She looked kinda like Mario Batali?
Dude, hurry and get over. I need a wingman. She is on her 6th vodka shot and her resident ugly friend is still sober
i've been called drunk 4 times today and it's only 3pm
Where the hell is he. I called him crying for weed and sex you would think that would signal some urgency.
Drunk me needs to be reminded of my sexual preferences.
at least it wasnt animals
We were having sex and his high flatmates stood outside his room playing the guitar and singing Somebody to Love by Justin Beiber. Weirdest night ever.
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
i wore just an American flag as my costume-huge success. 20 people pledged allegiance to my ass including a senior frat boy at the keg. God bless America.
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
Seltzer and cocaine. Life is flawless right now.
He finished and he wasn't even totally hard. He actually came without a boner.
HOW IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE.
RESIST THE DICK
thats like telling me to resist drinking water. impossible.
Randomize
