Hi
Babe...You're really smothering me right now
On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
I just found a beer pong ball in my mail box. I think its a sign
Thanks for getting me home last night.
No worries. I'll always be there for you, just like Mufasa.
apparently breaking a beer bottle and then throwing up in a urinal is a terrible way to pick up girls.
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
also, I just found three random bruises on my knee. probably from when I was velcrod to the stairs
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
Oh no that was the time I did the walk of shame with no shoes
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
Were you seriously humming twinkle twinkle little star while cupping my balls?
My mom just asked me if I knew what Buzzfeed was. Then said she's watching the second Magic Mike for the bodies. Please help.
I know this sounds fake but she's deep frying a bar of soap right now
Come fucking get her
Tinder has really served to stimulate the number of sex related demons summonings.
Randomize