I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
woke up in a shopping cart using a keystone box as a blanket. how was your night?
i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
He got mauled by a 200lb cement boulder and all he could say in the back of the ambulance is 'I'm so getting laid for this'
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
Can she stop putting up all these passive aggressive statuses and please come out of the "I-want-to-be-a-pornstar" closet already?
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
Using mass transit when I'm hungover makes me feel like I missed my calling as a serial killer
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
Orientation leader success, day 1: incoming freshman just ate out his first sorority girl. I gave him a 7/10.
I did a line of coke with my ex tonight. Talk about memories
Dude...itll be a youre-still-a-dick-but-a-hot-one-angry-hate-evil-spite kinda fuck. This is acceptable.
Nah, just stick him in a closet with some cheetos, a blunt and soda. The darkness will calm him down until Mallory can be located.
i gotta say this to some one...... my penis feels sooooooooo sooooooft, its amazing
like for real, sooooooooooooooo smoooooooooooooth its amazing
I can't wait for you to read this text tomorrow
I just punched myself in the vagina to prove a point. Please pray for me.
Randomize
