Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
This girl caught me staring at the cat but stroking the computer because it was closer, which is why I hate blunts.
i think i broke my dog last night...fuck
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
Woke up this morning naked, wrapped in a bath mat with a wad of singles on the table. I'm calling it a win.
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
I was just trying to flirt with James Franco but she kept telling me to take shots out of Ron Burgundy's mouth
Your boobs stole my birthday thunder!
ever since I turned 21 the mother-daughter bonding sessions always end with whiskey and my little pony. I don't know why, it's just a thing that happens
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
But being sober is boring. Everything takes so long, I feel like I'm just waiting in line to die.
Randomize
