Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
Just saw a man being put through a dui test on the side of the road... it was noon and he was on a bicycle. God bless texas.
neither the pictures you took nor my hangover explain why there are skittles in my shoe
He has a chalkboard tally in his bathroom of "Me vs. Toilet". He's losing.
I didn't even realize you were getting that drunk until bam!
is bam when I fell down the stairs or when I threw up standing at the bar?
They're doing shots to celebrate every 15 minutes passing. You can come get them.
Well it's official, last night I hooked up with the third girl from the apartment downstairs.
Dude that's a hat trick!
I know, I tossed my hat on the floor as I was walking out.
Hooked up with a guy resembling a bearded Cher. I need the lenses on my beer goggles fixed. Pronto.
Sending emails to my new boss whilst unable to move from the toilet seat because of alcohol. Great start to a new job as a school counselor.
Blowing lines in the bathroom and trying to get into the mindset of someone who wants to be at work for 12 hours
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
it's my fake id's birthday. i'm wearing a hat, and i have a beard. i'm untouchable. TO THE BARS!
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
Randomize