You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
his facebook status quotes britney spears so there is always that
We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
Something in my vomit makes me think I shouldn't have had that slurpee
i had a dream that your penis turned into a long neck dinosaur
did it start talking like on Land before time?
your ex dropped by. you can call me dwight howard, cuz im the king of rebounds
Is it because I queefed?
btw he is cheating on one twin with the other. the main woman in his life has a mullet. I defiantly have either the coolest or weirdest uncle ever
i'm totally cool with all the dick sucking you're doing down there, but as your brother i think i'm supposed to warn you our parents will be home in 5
If there was a tv show called "True Life: My 58 Year Old Dad Rolls Better J's Than Me" I'd be on it.
On the upside, no one went to the hospital! Lex's friend was definitely on fire at one point last night though because he tried to juggle tiki torches. He was shirtless this morning and smelled like a BBQ.
I just started the bonfire using a tampon. Who knew they could have multiple uses?
Basically I think I'm replacing men/sex with theme parks.
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
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