i just thanked the atm machine for giving me cash
Dude sorry i couldnt seem to spell any words right in the texts i sent you last night
I felt like a fucking code breaker.
I just saw a kid walk into class with his dad. Fuck his life.
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
It's not my fault. Someone keeps buying me tequila shots. Idk who. But every time I look down there's another. I think there's a conspiracy.
I don't like finding out that my fuck buddy is a good person.
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
We're going to catch a squirrel this summer
Can we please get through at least one night out when you DON'T threaten to have sex with one of my parents?!?!
I snorted a few ambien and woke up here. A lady banged on our door, waking us up, demanding our towels.
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
Summers almost over and we haven't golfed, got naked or had sex yet. Let's do all three in one day, no particular order.
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
Dude, don't beat around the bush. We're fucked and you know it.
Randomize
