If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
by the end of the night i am guaranteed to have less of a face than Seal....
I woke up this morning with a hospital armband on containing all the information off my fake i.d. WTF did we do last night!?!?
For his 21st I'm getting a fancy hotel that way he can at least sleep in a nice bathtub
I have eleven tally marks and an infinity sign drawn on my wrist in permanent marker. Senior bar crawl stole my liver.
You just begged me to mute the porn and watch her ass bounce while listening to dubstep the whole time.
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
It was a legit night tell he threw a snowball in the bar, thats when I knew it was time to go to the next bar.
This would be a good time to bring up the fact that my spider-man fork is MIA
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
Tell me why I woke up outside of our hotel room Wearing a cowboy hat and boots in Las Vegas.
Somehow I became in charge of getting my mother laid? This can't be my life? Lol
I don't think he knows you can have sex sober...
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
Remind me later when I want to buy more drinks that there's a 20 in my bra
Randomize
