her vagine was all disorganized.
I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
It's like the Sean Connery of vaginas. You don't mess with it.
My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
this is a time for prayers...seriously
let us hold hands and pray.. sweet baby jesus please bring us some sweet sweet man loving this homecoming weekend to aid our lonely vaginas it has been a long couple of weeks amen.
I just found cold cuts in the blender. You and beefeater can no longer have unsupervised parties.
I must have drunkenly masturbated really loud last night, cause my roommate and his wife wont look at me
I need to find parents that want to take care of a grown adult. I'm sure there's a website out there for that. Like a sugar daddy but sugar parents.
Apparently at some point last night someone gave me tequila. There was a few shots left when I woke up so that was breakfast. This is a good birthday
I still can't get the taste of her nipples and the udon noodles out of my mouth
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
I threw up off of your balcony and it must have been loud because the dog downstairs went insane.
The night got way more interesting after Jimmy started doing summersaults in front of the bar.
I’m at the Eye doc, sitting in the waiting room. The woman next to me is highlighting passages in her bible. I’m watching pornhub on mute. I clearly need some penis, or Jesus.
Randomize
