Im telling you now. Hang out with winning football players and you get whatever the hell you want. Sorry to wake you. But its important knowledge.
two words: eviction party
Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
quit making up holidays to get me to go drinking with you
He showed up drunk to my cousions HS grad party, we stayed at the bars till 2, then he got up at 5 to run a half marathon and by the time I woke up wlhe was already back and drinking.
For future reference, the blowjob coupons I gave you for your birthday are NOT transferable to pay your friends for tacos.
Last night after the bar I went home and ate a pulled pork sandwich in a bubble bath
I think you were giving a sex seminar on your kitchen table last night.
I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
I don't know if should be sitting on a toilet or kneeling in front of it
You had 10 drinks. On a first date.
I just masterbated then started bawling.
Also I'm so used to having sex with river guides that when he pulled out a condom I was actually surprised
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
Randomize
