your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books
There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
I often get tempted to walk up to her drunk ass and say, "shouldn't you be taking care of your kid?"
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
I'm pretty sure this isn't my phone, but I do like these nude pics
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
i'm sure the inside of her vag looks like Normandy circa 1944
and yes i had to double check that date for that joke to be accurate
Im walking to an ob gyn practice session right now. Literally have to get face first in a middleaged vagina in 10 min.
I am going to ride along with a cop tonight so please don't get arrested because that would be super awkward for me.
I'm out of town so we should be golden.
So then I proceeded to the kitchen to make my "specialty," which consisted of a frozen veggie burger topped with peanut butter. I guess he ate it too.
Pretty sure I'm about to get another tattoo. It'll have mom in there somewhere for Mother's Day.
This doesn't mean I'm going to attempt to find happiness with smooshy dick
Holy sore nipples Batman
I accidentally left my shirt at my booty calls house. He washed it & hung it up for me in his closet. I can't decide if that's sweet or creepy
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
Randomize
