I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
I'm just gonna go nail your roommate after we break up anyway.
noo you weren't that drunk. you just knocked the grill over and couldn't get the key in the door, so you climbed through the window. success.
Hold on - sidebar. My best friend just threw a 40 pack of condoms through my window.
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
Today is National Blunt Day in the Great State of Me. Come ovah
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
Life update: This fucking MacBook repair guy called me over last night for a booty call and he didn’t have a condom OR a bed
Sunday morning breakfast with the boyfriends family. I just puked in the stall at Cracker Barrell. Classy.
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
I'm at the fucking ritz Carlton and I would leave here to cuddle with her. Not even fuck, just cuddle. What th hell is wrong with me?
I think it's called love, bro
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