put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
It was a cry at the bar alone type of night, served with a side of passing out facedown in my nachos.
I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser.
You were laying in bed whispering and crying to the half eaten burrito saying "why am I shitting so much" and "what did I do to deserve this"
Dude you made a rodeo shot in beer pong won the game then got in the hot tub poured beer all over the side and screamed "hot tub time machine!"...
This hangover makes more sense now
I broke the girls bed. I will not apologize about bragging.
if it doesnt flame it aint got game is a bad drinking motto eyebrow-wise.
eyebrows regrow, your balls dont
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
There's a Taco Bell quesadilla in my shower caddy right now.
I'm about to make existential crisis tacos.
It's not even noon and I've had 3 people call me a savage, one of them said it in reference to the blow job I gave them. So I guess you could say it's going to be a good weekend
I gave your mom a discount on her coffee, its my way to say thanks for having a son that makes me come every time
Randomize
