He asked for his proof of insurance and he pulled out a Magnum by mistake. All of the sudden gignger was looking real good to me.
This just became a night full of adventures...and by adventures I mean hitting people with my car
I'll make a Jello mold of your face so everyone can get drunk off your face
She gave me a foot massage while her friend rode me. Your gf puked into the oscolating fan. How were our nites alike?
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
I would have screamed and cried and bled and shit and then died. Fuck that guy.
NO SHITSVILLE I just saw a homeless dude punch a pigeon that flew by him
Just woke up, shitty hungover, and realized that every article of clothing I slept in was backwards, bra included. Fuck you, gin. Fuck you.
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
Wanna get mid day margaritas tomorrow if I'm still alive
I just found your ripped underwear on my chandelier. Care to explain?
As I took my shirt off he commented on how great my boobs where. I responded with "thanks, I grew them myself"
Just found an airplane bottle of whiskey and I didn't put it in my coffee. I think I deserve a little recognition this morning.
It happend again, swimming on the floor... Vodka is my friend
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
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