just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
my text book just quoted the cookie monster
I told him i wanted to be exclusively cheating with him
You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
Thank you for holding my bra last night while i did a topless lap around the house
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
Finals week...the biggest cock block since your brother threatened me with a beer bottle at the bar.
I ate all his french fries. He was no longer useful to me.
We were Chugging coronas for the soul purpose of launching limes out of the 3rd story window, I'd say it was a good weekend
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
He literally ejaculated and I hit Uber
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
I woke up to pee last night, got out of bed and proceeded to stand there because I had no idea where I was. Then, I heard my sexy as fuck personal trainers voice. Well-played blacked out me.
I refuse to shit my pants for anyone except Cher and Christina Aguilera!
Randomize
