This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
the jolly green giant just puched the pope. halloween is the best.
I can't believe I am actually paying for a night in a hotel for my parents so I can throw a party the night before Christmas Eve. I also can't believe they think it's their Christmas present.
she walked out and i tried to get her to come back but i couldn't remember her name so i just whistled... future reference: that doesn't work
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
How many people slept in the bouncy castle last night?
4 guys, 1 girl. Pretty sure were gonna have to pay the cleaning fee
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
Fuck you, if it wasn't for us going to the city, she would be using me as a human sex toy all day.
So we stayed at his mom's and all got drunk and he and I hooked up in his old bedroom. Then his drunk mom came in and tackled us when we were still naked. Why does this keep happening to me?
I found more straws in my beard this morning. Please stop doing that.
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
I really need to stop sending pussy pics if I'm going to be running for state representative in November
Never remove your contact lenses after eating an entire bag of spicy doritos.
Roomies told me I showed up to my house alone with no pants on and burrs in my hair... I live in the middle of the city
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
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