ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
I puked the same amount of times as the number of bars i went to last night
My mom came into my room and told me to flip off the tv. I gave it the middle finger. Note to self: STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT
I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
I should take him calling me "a freak of nature" after sex as a compliment, right??
You were pretty committed to that cat costume. Between pukes, you would meow and assure people that you just had a hairball you couldn't get out...
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
I woke up and found a stick of butter in my pocket. There's no butter in the house so I don't know who's it is. Using it to make cookies.
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
Once again, marijuana saves me from going to jail
He was laying on a lawn chair, fell off onto his stomach and asked, "where'd the stars go?" That high.
Randomize
