What are we going to do tonight?
What we try to do every night. Take over the world
You ever start fucking a girl and realize she kinda looks like your mom?
I may or may not have eaten the rest of your birthday cake last night after getting blazed and watching harry potter.
i think you have the wrong number
so then it wasn't your birthday cake. k, cool.
Does slim fast make a chocolate heart for valentines? If so that's what she's getting.
Tried to bribe the bartender with wedding cake. Felt bad for not giving her a tip.
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
Leave the bottle at home cause either way I'm not taking another shot. You have no idea how long it took me to compose this text free of grammatical error.
Gold star for you, but I'm on my way and the soco is buckled in next to me. This is happening.
Is it acceptable I'm laying in bed drinking airplane bottles?
In our world? Yes, but I'm disappointed yoiu are wasting airplane bottles. Save them for sneaky occasions
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
Ew. After that you just pretty much proved that your vagina is the reason why my vagina needs two toilet seat covers when peeing in public restrooms
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
I had a date last night. His dog threw up in his bed while we were having sex in it.
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