When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
turkey basters and jungle juice, is that really the whole shopping list for new year's?
And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
Note to self: don't tell your girlfriends dad you can have his daughter in bed by ten and home by midnight. He doesnt find it funny
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
Calling a preemptive no homo on tonight's activities
I almost tried texting you with my pipe. Holy fuck this is good shit.
Just took plan b with my eggs and chai...homecoming got the best of me already
I made out with drunk Joe Dirt and then put his mullet wig on for him. True Halloween romance.
He's wearing my bra and eating a breadstick while jumping on our bed.....
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
People don't believe me when I say the bruises are from work. They just smile and say "right." Trust me, I WISH my sex life was that exciting.
Randomize
