Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
I will give everyone a free pointer today. Here it goes, always pee by the house late at night to avoid getting shot by drunk bastards with guns. Never go by the tree line.
I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
I cagt a turtle and named him squirt. He's in my bathtub Caleb is feeding me peaches! This is the most beautiful vodka Thursday ever!
Don't ask how or why, but I think the 775 on the inside of my lip is permanent
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
Like its not even midnight and I've already had enough of her for all of 2015
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
I really don’t want to have kids.
I thought we agreed we were done with dirty talk for the day
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
I just showered and shaved both ankles and one knee because that's the skin that's exposed in the jeans I'm wearing today. Please tell me I'm not the only one who does that.
He's a snuggler. Every time I attempt to make a move to find my bra he reigns me in. Needless to say i could be here a while.
I walked in the kitchen and heard her saying "We could have been so good together" as she caressed an egg with her cheek.
Omg worst high ever. I'm watching Parks and Rec, and all i can think about is how andy, leslie, and tom are my closest friends. Forever alone.
Randomize
