I sware she could use her own nose as a dildo.
make sure i look cute passed out on the couch.
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
I wish that one Sunday morning I could wake up feeling like I have my life together.
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
Apparently she was filling Miller Lite bottles with water because I refused to be seen drinking water in a bar
Seriously? He's going to use MY birthday sex as the opportunity to ask if he can pee on me?!? I let him, but wow talk about selfish.
If the blood belongs to whoever dumped glitter all over my couch than the motherfucker got what was coming to them. If not, I hope they're ok.
How much morphine is too much? Keep in mind that I'm going to my graduation dinner with my parents.
Hooked up with an ex Playgirl model. I feel like the universe just high-fived me for staying sober.
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
All is fair in love and war and toga parties
She answered the door wearing a basket, said it was the only clean thing she had.
Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France
Randomize
