Idk if this white stuff in my shower is conditioner or... something else?
My breakfast consisted of a slimfast and an adderal. My fridge is like an insecurity buffet.
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
Spilled red wine all over my bed. This has to be the fiftieth time ive refused to fall asleep without a drink in my hand
i actually pissed myself from laughing when I saw the old man in lingerie carrying a spiderman purse. I dont know if he was real or if it was the tequila, but my head hurts.
Slow dancing with the chandelier.
This is true. I'm still having Jess write "no drugs" on my left hand and "except weed" on my right hand
That moment when your whole family facetimed you just moments before you threw up all over the entire living room
Yup on the verge of buzzed and drunk. I managed to make my way into my cat's box house to fall asleep. I'm comfortable
Why is there a chocalet milkshake outside our front door?
Alcohol
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
Randomize
