You just made me feel so damn special
You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
I need to talk about my life with someone. Preferably with someone who hasn't tried to jizz on me
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
Apparently, we were running around the apartment, singing into pickles, the routinely slapped our passed out friends with them.
Dude, you passed out sitting straight up AND in mid sentence last night
What's up with the fire hydrant in the laundry room?
the upside of dating someone over 21: he can buy me a pregnancy test AND a bottle of wine when he goes to cvs for me
i wonder if cab drivers are trained in the art of delivering girls back to their dorms on Saturday mornings. because mine was so nice that he dropped me off at the back of my building so no one would see me.
He had to put the child locks on the windows so you would stop screaming at random boys
Shaving your bikini line at 11 at night in the Walmart bathroom feels trashy no matter why you're doing it.
I wanna get high and watch Shrek tonight...don't make me do it alone.
Nothing says happy Monday quite like coffee and oral sex.
I don't remember that much at all. But I guess I met this guy from New Zealand and his dog, and then I punched someone in the face.
Randomize
