The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
Thank GOD those kids were having a lemonade stand, I didn't have anything to wash down my plan b with.
the bar tender told me i could keep an air matress in the backroom.
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
The bathroom smells like ribs. What did you do?
Shoot me. Oh my god shoot me. My moms ex "likes assholes"
My mom has had 5 shots of fireball today and she's still functioning normally... She's just extra polite.
I threw a beer bottle at the bartender and pissed myself. Somehow, I didn't get kicked out.
Also, there's a guy walking around the kitchen in a shark onzie, and he just asked if we've ever smoked weed with a shark before. I'm dying
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
I'm kind of pissed I'm not hungover, that means I could have totally drank more last night.
You kept calling yourself a spider monkey... Then ran to the bathroom to "prepare for the main event"
Why is the microwave staring at me?!
Randomize
