It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
found out this morning via facebook that the guy i met last night has a wife and a baby and he took me to his apartment where he takes girls to cheat on his wife
i mean you met him at the daytona 500
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
He will. He has no choice. What's he gonna do? Find a better fuck buddy? We both know that's not possible. I'm the ideal friend with benefit. Minus snoring and uneven tits.
Fell down the metal stairs and some guy tried to fight me after you left. I fell asleep with cadbury eggs in my mouth too.
I woke up this morning to find a stuffed animal submerged in the toilet. I'm not entirely sure if it was the cat or Kara.
Almost ran over girl selling candy bars for charity. Pretty much obligated to buy at that point.
Everything was cool till you started pissing while standing at the bar
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
i just thought a plastic bag was my cat. i just pet a plastic bag. that high.
She had sex with a starfish painted on her face. Thank you Halloween
FUCK and YOU. times 10. To infinity and beyond. You bastard. Worst. Cockblock. Ever. I'm going to nail your sister.
The main motivators in my life are my sex drive and spite
dude. I can hear the air.
Randomize
