Ummmm I went to see who was upstairs, he was the only one in his room so we had sex while the travel channel played in the background.
Oh good. Romantic. Still, I'm jealous of the sex.
Probably not, since he made me promise not to tell anyone it only lasted ten seconds.
Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
Ahhh sometimes you just need a thermos of whiskey in the library
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
I forgot to tell you. Your neighbor was walking his tiny dog and saw me crawl out of my jeep drunk vomiting and holding onto my bumper. He just said: morning! all friendly.
I woke up and discovered I gave new meaning to the term "pizza pockets" yes it's exactly like it sounds like
we should definitely drink gin again. soon.
well that's the third time this semester that I've projectile vomited walking to class in front of dozens of people
He literally cried into his tacos and screamed fuck bitches. Don't know if it was the best, or the worst hook up, ever.
Don't mention it
Just endorse me for cunnilingus on LinkedIn
The fact that you screamed, "Alf is my spirit animal!" is proof enough that we're too old for peyote.
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
I got really worried when i woke up and there weren't any missed booty calls from him between 3 and 5 am. Apparently his gf is in town ...
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
Randomize
