we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
as soon as his mom opened the door to let me in the house she asked if i would like a shot
it's gonna be a great weekend
.....woke up with a tube of cinnamon buns in my pocket, i miss you
Ok I'm good with that cause I'm gonna disappear for 90 days
Are you goin to rehab again?
Do I need to take a photo of my sister's enlarged and disgustingly dark nipples to scare you into protection? DO I?
Part of me was thinking I should go old school and get a chasity belt before the semester starts. Really lock that shit down. But then I thought, fuck that. I'm going to hit that campus like an f5 whorenado
No no no no no no.... That's my emergency bottle for when I realize I've hit rock bottom
I get hit on by the prison guards every time i go to see him. Seriously.
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
she's just been through a whole lot lately. When the crazy starts leaking out we give her vodka and lock her in the room with all the pillows.
so that's what that room is for...
I'm drunk from drinking bourbon out of a "cupcake sippy cup" at the Denny's bar. What the fuck happened to the goals I had?
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
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